Life Calls: Back in a Few Days
Sunday, 7 September 2008 Clay Burell 
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I’ve spent the morning telling my little Korean nieces and nephew that their grandmother has “gone to sleep,” while others are telling them she “go into the sky.” Always the teacher.
It makes me think of the end of Gilgamesh. But that’s ten chapters away.
Wherever my mother-in-law is, my wife’s family and I agree it’s a more peaceful state than her last five months hooked up to machines in the hospital. I have to say I find it ironic that laws based on ancient values forbid us the freedom to make one rational choice concerning medical care: to use it to end our lives when we see fit, sparing us unnecessary agony and our families unnecessary burdens both emotional and financial.
And that, too, makes me think of Gilgamesh, the Bible, and all sorts of non-schooly relevances we can draw from these stories, and how they influence our lives.
Anyway, I’ll be back after the three-days’ mourning and funeral.
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No. 1 — September 8th, 2008 at 3:57 am
I’m so deeply and sincerely sorry for you, your wife, and her family. I hope you find solace in whatever beliefs you hold.
I still mourn my father, but he lives on in me and my children. Memories won’t make the pain any less, but they will be a comfort in the future.
dianes last blog post..The Tie That Binds
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No. 2 — September 8th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Prayers (vague, unorganized, real)….
No words for something we cannot grasp.
Michael Doyles last blog post..Science, dogma, and the American Way
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No. 3 — September 8th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
I’m sorry for your loss.
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No. 4 — September 9th, 2008 at 6:56 am
My thoughts & prayers & blessings & good tidings are headed your way. Life is hard sometimes.
My grandfather used to say “better days are just around the corner.”
Take care of yourself & your wife & family. Let us know how you’re doing and if you need anything.
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No. 5 — September 9th, 2008 at 9:44 am
My thoughts are with you, your wife, and her family.
Partings are never easy, no matter how unexpected. Tell the stories; that is our charge as those still here, and that is your gift.
A favorite farewell poem for you.
“Parting at a Wine-shop in Nan-king” – Li Po (Li-Bai)
A wind, bringing willow-cotton, sweetens the shop,
And a girl from Wu, pouring wine, urges me to share it,
With my comrades of the city who are here to see me off;
And as each of them drains his cup, I say to him in parting,
Oh, go and ask this river running to the east
If it can travel farther than a friend’s love!
Kate Tabors last blog post..“All that is not my soul…”
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No. 6 — September 9th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
My condolences to you Clay and your family.
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No. 7 — September 9th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Thank you, everyone. The mourning and funeral were a wonderful way to say goodbye. My wife and her family are well.
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No. 8 — September 10th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
I’m deeply sorry for your loss…
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No. 9 — September 10th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
My mother just received her diagnosis yesterday…malignant lung cancer. She’s 82 and has smoked since she was 13.
We may be following the path you have traveled.
Saras last blog post..Drip, drip
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No. 10 — September 11th, 2008 at 3:12 am
[...] can’t write about Gilgamesh right now. The funeral needs time to recede into the past before things here are stable enough for that type of writing. [...]
No. 11 — September 11th, 2008 at 3:21 am
Very sorry about your family’s loss, Clay, our prayers are with you all.
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No. 12 — September 11th, 2008 at 3:30 am
Clay,
I, too, just wanted to express how sorry I am for your wife’s loss. I’m glad to hear that your wife and her family are doing well.
-Andrea
Andrea Hernandezs last blog post..Edublogosphere –Part of the Problem?
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Andrea Hernandez Reply:
September 11th, 2008 at 3:31 am
I meant to write your loss in the first line.
Andrea Hernandezs last blog post..Edublogosphere –Part of the Problem?
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No. 13 — September 12th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
So sorry to hear this Clay. My thoughts are with you, your wife and family.
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No. 14 — September 25th, 2008 at 11:18 am
go to the sky. I like that.
I’m sorry for your family’s loss.
And, you’re right – why does the health system make it so hard for us to go to the sky when it is truly time?
Tracy Rosens last blog post..how do you still love teaching?
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Clay Burell Reply:
September 25th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Thanks for the condolences, Tracy.
What do you like about “going to the sky”? (Besides the poetry, which would be beautiful if the parents of these kids told them it was poetry, instead of telling them it’s fact.)
Call me crazy, but I see a connection between America’s horrible science scores and teachings like this before kids have all their teeth. “Oh, so we put people in the ground and they go into the sky? Okay, Mom, if you say so.”
When the Earth was flat, this made a little sense. But now, the sky is centrifugal instead of “up.”
Ach. I’ll stop now
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Tracy Rosen Reply:
September 25th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
What I like about going to the sky…
…it made me think of the Mohawk sweetgrass ceremony (I’ve been to a few, sadly one was for a student of mine), where tobacco is burnt at the site of a death in order to facilitate the spirit to be released and do what it has to do, combine with that of the creator.
So much better than ‘going to sleep’. How freaking scary is that? I’d be afraid to ever go to sleep again, I may never wake up! Saying ‘going to sleep’ is an outright lie, while saying ‘going to the sky’ is rooted in belief (if that is your belief). Unless, of course, you truly believe that one is sleeping when one dies…
Tracy Rosens last blog post..how do you still love teaching?
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No. 15 — November 19th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
I’m sorry for your family’s loss Clay.
I haven’t commented for a while, simply because I haven’t found the time to read your entries (you write A LOT, man)
But to this last entry; I’m sure you’re familiar with Tolkiens work. His work is largely influenced by old myhts and pre-christian religious stories.
Now to the point: The old Numenorean (and Gondorean) kings freely chose to give up their lives, before they became witless, while they still had some strength and dignity left.
I think this is a notion that was deeply founded in ancient times, but something we have lost. This is not because we have grown more respectful of life, but because doctors are afraid of lawsuits if they don’t try their utmost to keep patients alive.
So it was with the later Numenorean kings, they envied the elven immortality, and refused to give up their lives, actually sending them into decline. Isn’t that an analogy to today’s medical practice/ ethics?
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