Comments on: Legacy 3: Of Jocks and Fags http://beyond-school.org/2008/07/30/jocks-and-fags/ A field headquarters in the War on Schooliness. Mon, 01 Dec 2008 20:30:58 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Clay Burell http://beyond-school.org/2008/07/30/jocks-and-fags/#comment-5144 Clay Burell Thu, 28 Aug 2008 04:05:34 +0000 http://beyond-school.org/?p=781#comment-5144 Good advice from a good father, I think. Must have been tough. Thanks for the kind words. Good advice from a good father, I think. Must have been tough.

Thanks for the kind words.

]]> By: John Schwartz http://beyond-school.org/2008/07/30/jocks-and-fags/#comment-5143 John Schwartz Thu, 28 Aug 2008 04:02:40 +0000 http://beyond-school.org/?p=781#comment-5143 I came upon your page on StumbleUpon. What a revelation!!! Your writing is so true to the experience that I could just feel the emotions. In many ways it parallels my son's experiences with bullies. It nearly destroyed him until I finally advised him that, while I would like to beat the hell out of these creeps myself, it would do him no good. When he was ready to do it, he had to stand-up for himself. I also told him that if he were to fight back then he should fight with everything within him and to win! He would get no flak from me if he did that and received discipline in school. Of course, that day came, he vanquished his tormentors and was never bullied again. Your observation that the present shapes the future is so true. Great writing!!! I came upon your page on StumbleUpon. What a revelation!!! Your writing is so true to the experience that I could just feel the emotions. In many ways it parallels my son’s experiences with bullies. It nearly destroyed him until I finally advised him that, while I would like to beat the hell out of these creeps myself, it would do him no good. When he was ready to do it, he had to stand-up for himself. I also told him that if he were to fight back then he should fight with everything within him and to win! He would get no flak from me if he did that and received discipline in school.
Of course, that day came, he vanquished his tormentors and was never bullied again.
Your observation that the present shapes the future is so true.
Great writing!!!

]]> By: Your page is now on StumbleUpon! http://beyond-school.org/2008/07/30/jocks-and-fags/#comment-5132 Your page is now on StumbleUpon! Thu, 28 Aug 2008 02:46:42 +0000 http://beyond-school.org/?p=781#comment-5132 <!--%kramer-ref-pre%-->[...] Your page is on StumbleUpon [...]<!--%kramer-ref-post%--> Kramer auto Pingback[...] Your page is on StumbleUpon [...]

]]> By: JJ http://beyond-school.org/2008/07/30/jocks-and-fags/#comment-4950 JJ Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:35:15 +0000 http://beyond-school.org/?p=781#comment-4950 Hello :) Well so far we have been out of football for 3 days. My kiddo sacked their QB and made him fumble the ball and then jumped.. I mean LEAPED onto the ball and was "dog piled" by about 10 kids. I guess the coach told the players that he wanted EVERY PLAYER going after the ball on every play. I don't know if that is normal, but I thought they each had other jobs etc. Anyway, my child and another kid were under the pile, and finally when they all got off of them my sons back had an imprint of a facemask on it (and still does), but according to him he, "didn't fumble the ball". The other kid didn't get up for a while. My son jogged to the sideline to let one of the assistant coaches check it out. Practice was about over and my son - in pain - ran hills and wooped their butts back to the coach. He fell to his knee next to the car. Thats when I got to see the injury. I'm an alt. med. prac. and I checked the extent of the soft tissue damage and looked for signs of internal damage. I didn't trust my own judgement as I was pretty upset, so I took him to a friends clinic, she is a nurse prac. She said to keep him out for at least a week, ice it, etc. But what I want to know is... why didn't they blow a whistle? Or do SOMETHING to stop this. The "dog piling" happened several other times and there were about 7 other kids injured that night. Those coaches, if you can even call them that, are MOE-RONS! We did phone the one assistant coach that we knew a little bit, and he said, "Don't worry, I've got you guy's back". I've got your back? What is this High School? It did make me feel a little better, but weird none the less. It does make me wonder what the coach has to do with all of this mess, and why we have to have someone "get our back". So far thats it. No good news yet, but I am enjoying the extra time with my kiddo. He's got quite a sense of humor. Hello :)
Well so far we have been out of football for 3 days. My kiddo sacked their QB and made him fumble the ball and then jumped.. I mean LEAPED onto the ball and was “dog piled” by about 10 kids. I guess the coach told the players that he wanted EVERY PLAYER going after the ball on every play. I don’t know if that is normal, but I thought they each had other jobs etc. Anyway, my child and another kid were under the pile, and finally when they all got off of them my sons back had an imprint of a facemask on it (and still does), but according to him he, “didn’t fumble the ball”. The other kid didn’t get up for a while. My son jogged to the sideline to let one of the assistant coaches check it out. Practice was about over and my son - in pain - ran hills and wooped their butts back to the coach. He fell to his knee next to the car. Thats when I got to see the injury. I’m an alt. med. prac. and I checked the extent of the soft tissue damage and looked for signs of internal damage. I didn’t trust my own judgement as I was pretty upset, so I took him to a friends clinic, she is a nurse prac. She said to keep him out for at least a week, ice it, etc. But what I want to know is… why didn’t they blow a whistle? Or do SOMETHING to stop this. The “dog piling” happened several other times and there were about 7 other kids injured that night. Those coaches, if you can even call them that, are MOE-RONS! We did phone the one assistant coach that we knew a little bit, and he said, “Don’t worry, I’ve got you guy’s back”. I’ve got your back? What is this High School? It did make me feel a little better, but weird none the less. It does make me wonder what the coach has to do with all of this mess, and why we have to have someone “get our back”.
So far thats it. No good news yet, but I am enjoying the extra time with my kiddo. He’s got quite a sense of humor.

]]> By: On the Meaningful, in Quantum Contexts | Beyond School http://beyond-school.org/2008/07/30/jocks-and-fags/#comment-4937 On the Meaningful, in Quantum Contexts | Beyond School Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:43:25 +0000 http://beyond-school.org/?p=781#comment-4937 [...] Phil seems to want something similar in his context: We all need to try to save one child, one day at a time. I too will share this with my teaching colleagues. [...] [...] Phil seems to want something similar in his context: We all need to try to save one child, one day at a time. I too will share this with my teaching colleagues. [...]

]]> By: Clay Burell http://beyond-school.org/2008/07/30/jocks-and-fags/#comment-4931 Clay Burell Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:30:13 +0000 http://beyond-school.org/?p=781#comment-4931 @JJ, re: your offer to keep us informed here with updates, by all means, yes, please. @JJ, re: your offer to keep us informed here with updates, by all means, yes, please.

]]> By: JJ http://beyond-school.org/2008/07/30/jocks-and-fags/#comment-4868 JJ Fri, 08 Aug 2008 21:24:37 +0000 http://beyond-school.org/?p=781#comment-4868 I don't suppose your little sis is a BIG BURLY woman? J/K :D Weird how life works out like that. Anyway, I never really thought about it as "ceding varsity teritory". Interesting point. My kiddo is not big on giving up, so I guess we'll see how it pans out. "Beefy Trolls" are around every corner of life. If you can't live with them, challenge them and watch while they retreat back under the bridge. <-- todays lesson? :) I don’t suppose your little sis is a BIG BURLY woman? J/K :D Weird how life works out like that.
Anyway, I never really thought about it as “ceding varsity teritory”. Interesting point. My kiddo is not big on giving up, so I guess we’ll see how it pans out.
“Beefy Trolls” are around every corner of life. If you can’t live with them, challenge them and watch while they retreat back under the bridge. <– todays lesson? :)

]]> By: Clay Burell http://beyond-school.org/2008/07/30/jocks-and-fags/#comment-4851 Clay Burell Fri, 08 Aug 2008 03:56:02 +0000 http://beyond-school.org/?p=781#comment-4851 @JJ, Years later, in the army, another beefy troll chose me as a target. He was about 6'4", by far the tallest giant in the unit. By that time, I saw life very differently. At the first sign of aggression from him, I just called him on it. In front of a lot of people, I invited him outside to fight it out. Told him he'd probably win, but he's also have to keep fighting me every time he saw me, because I wanted to be sure I hurt him, because I can't stand people like him. I didn't say it dramatically, but more straighforwardly than anything else. I did explain to him, though, beer in hand as if it was any Friday night conversation, why I would enjoy getting just one good fist into him, no matter how many he landed on me. And I did assure him that I wouldn't rest until I did make him hurt. Then I repeated my invitation to go outside so we could get round one over with. It threw him on his heels. He wasn't used to people challenging him back. Apparently, he relied on the cowardice of others to enable him to do this stuff without consequences. He didn't accept my invitation. It was partially psychology, but if he'd called me on it, it would have been true, too. I guess I'm wishing people would stand up to the quarterback, rather than cede varsity territory to him. But that's just me. The "god" in my story? Too much. I answer that question in the podcast of the story as I told it to my class. It's linked above, at the end of the post. Short version: he married my little sister. @JJ, Years later, in the army, another beefy troll chose me as a target. He was about 6′4″, by far the tallest giant in the unit.

By that time, I saw life very differently. At the first sign of aggression from him, I just called him on it. In front of a lot of people, I invited him outside to fight it out. Told him he’d probably win, but he’s also have to keep fighting me every time he saw me, because I wanted to be sure I hurt him, because I can’t stand people like him. I didn’t say it dramatically, but more straighforwardly than anything else. I did explain to him, though, beer in hand as if it was any Friday night conversation, why I would enjoy getting just one good fist into him, no matter how many he landed on me. And I did assure him that I wouldn’t rest until I did make him hurt. Then I repeated my invitation to go outside so we could get round one over with.

It threw him on his heels. He wasn’t used to people challenging him back. Apparently, he relied on the cowardice of others to enable him to do this stuff without consequences. He didn’t accept my invitation.

It was partially psychology, but if he’d called me on it, it would have been true, too.

I guess I’m wishing people would stand up to the quarterback, rather than cede varsity territory to him.

But that’s just me.

The “god” in my story? Too much. I answer that question in the podcast of the story as I told it to my class. It’s linked above, at the end of the post.

Short version: he married my little sister.

]]> By: JJ http://beyond-school.org/2008/07/30/jocks-and-fags/#comment-4850 JJ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 22:47:55 +0000 http://beyond-school.org/?p=781#comment-4850 Well we found out the "split" is going to be Varsity & Junior Varsity. If playing Varsity means you have to put up with jerks like that, then we pass. The QB ate plenty of dirt and another mouthy kid is out of the season all together! I guess his knee cap has moved locations from the front of his knee to the side. I don't think my kid had anything to do with that, but it did get rid of another problem. The bully kid didn't learn anything though, he just moved on to a different kid (also bigger than him) to torment with his cronies. Maybe if he relied on his skill to make himself feel good, instead of putting everyone else down, he'd learn to be good to people. Then again, maybe thats it, he doesn't have much skill, he just trash talks everyone who does. I think the coach knows or is friends with, the parents of that kid, no help is going to come from him anytime soon. Anyway, my question is, whatever happened to that "God" you speak of in your story? I'd like to think he married a BIG BURLY woman who bullies him on a daily basis. Ahhh sweet retribution. Thanks again! We'll keep you posted on our situation if you'd like. :) Well we found out the “split” is going to be Varsity & Junior Varsity. If playing Varsity means you have to put up with jerks like that, then we pass. The QB ate plenty of dirt and another mouthy kid is out of the season all together! I guess his knee cap has moved locations from the front of his knee to the side. I don’t think my kid had anything to do with that, but it did get rid of another problem. The bully kid didn’t learn anything though, he just moved on to a different kid (also bigger than him) to torment with his cronies. Maybe if he relied on his skill to make himself feel good, instead of putting everyone else down, he’d learn to be good to people. Then again, maybe thats it, he doesn’t have much skill, he just trash talks everyone who does. I think the coach knows or is friends with, the parents of that kid, no help is going to come from him anytime soon.
Anyway, my question is, whatever happened to that “God” you speak of in your story? I’d like to think he married a BIG BURLY woman who bullies him on a daily basis. Ahhh sweet retribution.

Thanks again! We’ll keep you posted on our situation if you’d like. :)

]]> By: Clay Burell http://beyond-school.org/2008/07/30/jocks-and-fags/#comment-4837 Clay Burell Thu, 07 Aug 2008 02:06:10 +0000 http://beyond-school.org/?p=781#comment-4837 @JJ, Now there's a great solution: sack the QB four times! Best news I've heard in a long time. Smiling as I read. I hope your son gets many more sacks before the season is over. Sounds like the QB needs to be brought low, to eat some dirt, to take a fall, so he can learn to be good to people. Good job on all sides (did the coach <i>ever</i> show any concern? So far, he sounds like a jerk.). @JJ,

Now there’s a great solution: sack the QB four times!

Best news I’ve heard in a long time. Smiling as I read.

I hope your son gets many more sacks before the season is over. Sounds like the QB needs to be brought low, to eat some dirt, to take a fall, so he can learn to be good to people.

Good job on all sides (did the coach ever show any concern? So far, he sounds like a jerk.).

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