Beyond School

Clay,

I hope I never fail any of the students I come in contact with the way that your teachers failed you.

Yes, you emerged from the experience a stronger person, but at what cost?

And how many weaker students are negatively affected for a lifetime because of similar experiences with which they’re unequipped to cope?

Sobering story which is not, I’m afraid, unique.

It would be nice to think that the bullies you encountered either reformed or met some dire and fitting end. But they’re probably still creating misery in the world.

The fact that you can share this experience demonstrates your power as an individual.

Have the good life you deserve, my friend.

diane

diane

Clay,

I woke up extraordinarily early today and sat down at my machine, fired up my Reader and noticed the familiar “1″ next to Beyond School.

This was anything but familiar, but so very welcomed. In light of the recent spate of these type tales making national and international media, and in thinking about how to make a positive impact on how people become digital citizens, this story becomes a resource.

Thanks for sharing this one with the world at large; I hope your students realize how your path, although far from the norm, and far from over, has shaped who you have become.

Have a great holiday.

Stephen Downes wrote what I consider a surprisingly off-the-mark characterization of both my message and my intent, so I paste it here below, and then my reply afterwards. Stephen writes:

“I was bullied for two years in high school. Every day,” writes Clay Burrell [sic]. “But this story does things differently. It’s to the bullied. It tells them that, for me, over 700 consecutive days of bullying in high school was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. It just took me a couple decades to realize that.” I’m glad Burrell [sic] got past being bullied. I’m happy for him. But his perspective is simply wrong. Being bullied is not a good thing. It’s not something students should simply have to tolerate. It’s not - as Rick Mercer says in his video - enough to say that high school is the worst their lives will get. Because, for people who are bullied, it might not be - it might just be the kick-off to years of fears, depression and anxiety. I’m really glad things worked out for Burrell [sic]. But he must not fall into the fallacy of thinking that every bullied student can just pull himself up by his bootstraps.

My reply:

Stephen, you mis-represent my argument here by a surprisingly wide mark.

I don’t, as you imply, argue against the attempts by others to address the bullies. Nor, if you listen to the actual story, will you hear me advise that it’s something the bullied must “learn to tolerate.”

Nor do I commit the fallacy of saying “every” bullied student can do anything.

I told a story of my own experience. Call it a worst-case scenario story: school did nothing, teachers did nothing, students did nothing to stop it (maybe this is actually, in the real world, a typical scenario, actually?). But the experience was a wind onto a sea this ship might not otherwise have sailed.

Granted, “the best thing” as written above, on reflection, invites the arched eyebrow. At the same time, though, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.

I could have very easily ended up the popular football player in high school and college, and walked the road most traveled by.

I truly am thankful that did not happen.

Like war, bullying is an emotional subject for even the most logical types, so I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised by your reaction; but like war also, simply demanding that bullying must stop does little for the victims of it living and breathing as I type.

Something tells me they’d get more hope from a simple “I’ve been there, and it was hard, but things turned out all right” than from a million “End Bullying” public service announcements.

The nice thing is, though, we care enough about this issue to disagree about it. And that I have no problems with.

Hope you’re well, Stephen.

Clay,
I googled bullying stories because I wanted something to help me through troubles that I am currently facing in ninth grade. “Stop bullying!” sites really didn’t help me. This was just the kind of story I was looking for. I get called names feverishly because I didn’t make the best impression first semester. I try not to care what other people think of me but it feels like I am always watching my back.

Anyways, this story was very interesting indeed. Thanks a lot for sharing. It helped substantially.